Testimonial from a client with ADHD

I absolutely LOVE meeting the folks who attend the Unique ADHD support group in Shepperton, Surrey - they all have INCREDIBLE and humbling stories to tell.  

Many have endured years of frustration, ill-health, depression, anxiety, OCD, addictions, failed relationships, failed attempts at organising their homes, and generally living unfulfilled or complicated lives;  they've struggled with life, not knowing why they were different.  

Many have experienced amazing lightbulb moments about what's caused them to be this way only when their own children eventually get diagnosed with ADHD.

So here's a very flattering testimonial from one of the group's members - who also happens to be one of the most gorgeous, caring and intelligent people I've ever had the privilege of meeting, and working with.

"As a busy mum, full time student and working parent I found that managing some of the simple things in life became more difficult resulting in anxiety. When I first considered getting a professional organiser my family didn’t fully understand why especially as my house is extremely tidy and organised in many ways….I have however been described as Monica from FRIENDS as I have this ‘secret cupboard’ where I put things if they don’t have an official home. Over the years this cupboard has had more and more things put in it, which have not been tackled that it got to the point where just opening the door caused unnecessary stress.

Then I met Cherry…..my organising fairy god mother.

I knew the process wouldn’t be easy as I was confident that there would be some things in my cupboard that I didn’t wish to deal with and was scared of opening Pandora’s box. However, with Cherry by my side, someone to talk to, someone to guide me through the process, someone to support me with the emotional attachments, I was able to let go of the past and move on whilst keeping the things that mean the most to me and finding them a permanent home within the house and out of the cupboard. The process became enjoyable and I looked forward to Cherry’s next visits of discovering something new or something I had forgotten about. My house is almost totally organised from top to bottom as we even ended up tackling the garage and the garden shed as I didn’t really know how to organise these areas effectively as they are often have multipurpose uses.

I would highly recommend Cherry, not just to those who have large organising projects but even to those who have busy lives and need some assistance getting that paperwork sorted, dealing with emotional attachments of possession or tackling a small area that never seems to be organised. I have learnt a lot from Cherry and she learns so much from her clients that it is not a prescriptive service but unique and bespoke that she works to the clients needs with a sympathetic and non-judgemental ear. I will be working with Cherry in the future as my child grows up as I struggle to decide what to keep and what not to keep from his childhood possessions. My family have all seen the benefit of this truly amazing lady and not only do we have an additional cupboard..clutter free but it is now used as an organising workstation for maintaining the space as a functional, practical and usable space which has actually cleared other areas which were often used.

I am happy not to be anonymous and have my name attached to it as I truly believe in your service and would highly recommend you. I don't have anything to hide and feel that many people can benefit form your service, everyone must have a few things in life that they struggle to justify why they have them, or that cupboard where its never organised (even my mum has an issue with her tupperware cupboard...its never tidy)."

Hailey - Chertsey

Guardian article: Extreme hoarding of extreme memorabilia (the man who sleeps in Hitler's bed)

Alex Preston wrote an excellent article in today's Guardian newspaper about Kevin Wheatcroft, an extreme collector who lives in Leicestershire, and who has a fascination for collecting German World War 2 and Nazi memorabilia. MASSES of memorabilia, known as the Wheatcroft Collection.

Many who read the article may find Mr Wheatcroft’s seemingly fanatical collecting shocking, abhorrent and disrespectful to the millions of people who suffered and died as a result of atrocities ordered by a fanatical leader.  And I can see their point.

To those of us who are related to AND work with hoarders, the article gives an absorbing insight into a person who demonstrates classic hoarding behaviour, and who has finally come to realise the burden of his situation.  

Mr Wheatcroft inherited his interest in collecting (plus a construction business, properties and Donnington Park Racetrack and motor museum) from his late father - Tom Wheatcroft - who rescued Donnington Park Racetrack from closure back in 1971.

It just so happens that the main focus of Kevin Wheatcroft’s hoarding (some may say it’s collecting) isn't something that is as socially acceptable like things we see in the media or I see at my client's houses such as newspapers, clothes, shoes, Star Wars models, Lego, light bulbs, dolls house paraphernalia or Snoopy mugs.

Collectors generally proudly display their collection, and may swap pieces and talk to other collectors. Whereas people who hoard may feel shame, rarely allow others into their houses and are less likely to talk about it.

I've come across loads of hoarders who want to achieve what Mr Wheatcroft has said he wants to achieve – “saving” items for future generations to see, to learn about the past. Usually though, my clients do tend to fill their homes with more mundane/less expensive or exclusive things like newspapers or Royal Family memorabilia!

Mr Wheatcroft has the money, expertise and inclination to bypass your average car boot sale, charity shop or skip and go straight to the country of origin, shipping "treasures" back to the UK by the container-load. 

Unlike many hoarders, Mr Wheatcroft’s hoarding habit isn’t so severe that it prevents or precludes the use of living spaces for what they were designed for, primarily because he has pots of money to continually buy more space (and probably have people to clear/clean up after him).

Whilst Mr Wheatcroft’s acquiring habit and difficulty discarding items may have caused or could cause significant distress or impairment for him or his family members, the ones who are likely to demonstrate the most about his collection/hoard are those who object to what they perceive to be his glorification of an evil era by collecting artefacts from it.

The general characteristics of hoarding were recently outlined in an excellent Hoarding Framework document written by a team headed by the LOVELY Sally Savage of Nottingham Fire & Rescue Service's Persons at Risk Team (one of my colleagues on the Chief Fire Officer's Association's Hoarding Working Group). 

• Fear and anxiety: compulsive hoarding may have started as a learnt behaviour or following a significant event such as bereavement.  The person who is hoarding believes buying or saving things will relieve the anxiety and fear they feel.  The hoarding effectively becomes their comfort blanket.  Any attempt to discard the hoarded items can induce feelings varying from mild anxiety to a full panic attack with sweats and palpitations.
• Long term behaviour pattern: possibly developed over many years or decades of ‘buy and drop’. Collecting and saving with an inability to throw away items without experiencing fear and anxiety.
• Excessive attachment to possessions: people who hoard may hold an inappropriate emotional attachment to items.
• Indecisiveness: people who hoard may struggle with the decision to discard items that are no longer necessary, including rubbish.
• Unrelenting standards: people who hoard will often find faults with others; requiring others to perform to excellence while struggling to organise themselves and complete daily living tasks.
• Socially isolated: people who hoard will typically alienate family and friends and may be embarrassed to have visitors.  They may refuse home visits from professionals, in favour of office based appointments.
• Large number of pets: people who hoard may have a large number of animals that can be a source of complaints by neighbours.  They may be a self-confessed ‘rescuer of strays’.
• Mentally competent: people who hoard are typically able to make decisions that are not related to hoarding.
• Extreme Clutter: hoarding behaviour may be in a few or all rooms and prevent them from being used for their intended purpose.
• Churning: hoarding behaviour can involve moving items from one part of the property to another, without ever discarding them.
• Self-care: a person who hoards may appear unkempt and dishevelled, due to lack of bathroom or washing facilities in their home.  However, some people who hoard will use public facilities in order to maintain their personal hygiene and appearance.
• Poor insight: a person who hoards will typically see nothing wrong with their behaviours and the impact it has on them and others. 

For Mr Wheatcroft, perhaps having the largest “collection” of Hitlers heads in the world might be satisfying in one way, but frustrating in another as it's not a COMPLETE collection - there are still others out there somewhere to be collected.  As a recovering perfectionist myself (as a result of being the daughter of a controlling hoarder with unrelenting standards), I can see where he might be coming from if this is the case.

Whatever his reasons, I'm glad Mr Wheatcroft has finally realised that it’s time to find people to catalogue and restore his hoard – I hope there are historians and museums queuing up to help him achieve his dream of displaying this collection to future generations.

Perhaps having real-life tanks in his garden reminds him of happy times as a child playing with Tonka toys, whilst sleeping in Hitler's bed makes him feel important and special.  

I’m an optimist, so I'd like to think Mr Wheatcroft isn't actually hoping that megalomania will transfer to him from the bed whilst he sleeps, and he will go on to rule The World as a result. 

Instead, I wonder if his actions might be subconsciously proving something to himself (and his late father):

• that he is free from the shadow of parental control (where unrelenting standards no longer apply), and capable of purchasing anything he wants without having to ask someone else for it.  Or perhaps….
• that he is as good as (or better than) his dad at collecting 

We may never know - only his therapist (or his professional organiser or the restorers or museum curators) may ever be privy to that kind of information. Which is a shame because I'd love to know more.

Don't pour unwanted medicines down the sink or toilet - become an Antibiotic Guardian instead

Rather than pour out-of-date and unwanted medicines down the sink or toilet (which could mean the drugs then get into the environment or water we drink), we regularly take unwanted medication from decluttering clients to pharmacies for safe disposal. 

Plus, did you know that antibiotic resistance is one of the biggest threats facing us today?  

Without effective antibiotics, many routine treatments will become increasingly dangerous. Setting broken bones, basic operations, even chemotherapy all rely on access to antibiotics that work. 

Even large corporations are finally realising the impact that over or mis-use of antibiotics can have.  

According to an article on the BBC website today, in a bid to win back customers amid slowing sales, global restaurant chain McDonald's has announced they are to begin reducing the use of antibiotics in its chicken products; they will focus on removing those antibiotics than can have an impact on human health, but keep those necessary for poultry welfare.

Cherry Rudge of Surrey-based professional organising firm Rainbow Red has pledged to be an #AntibioticGuardian.  You can make a pledge too via www.antibioticguardian.com

So why not join her and pledge to be an Antibiotic Guardian, and help her safeguard this precious commodity, and the human race?  

On behalf of this and future generations, thank you.

For more information about antibiotics and how to become an Antibiotic Guardian click on the links below and check out the websites for:

Antibiotic Guardian
MRSA Action UK
NHS UK
Public Health England

Nonviolent Communication (NVC) - resolving conflict and differences peacefully

If you've ever had a heated conversation with someone (and who hasn't?!) and come away feeling utterly frustrated and not listened to, or felt the other person didn't seem to understand or respect your point of view, then let me introduce you to a technique that I've discovered - through personal experience - can a be a complete life changer.

It's an empowering process called Nonviolent Communication (NVC), which was developed by a clever chap in the USA called Dr Marshall Rosenburg (1934-2015), and introduced to me by a friend and professional organising colleague of mine - Gina Lawrie of Empathic Decluttering, who I've worked very successfully with on various decluttering jobs with hoarders.

Gina (based in Farnham in Surrey) - also happens to be an international NVC consultant, trainer, coach and mediator. She co-developed (in association with her NVC colleague Bridget Belgrave) a practical and fun method of teaching NVC called NVC Dance Floors.  

This instantly appealed to me when I found out about it because (a) I like dancing (don't worry, it's not strenuous and you don't need to wear any sequins!), and (b) it doesn't involve death by PowerPoint or having to sit and read a book! 

I've been on a couple of training days to learn the fundamentals of NVC, which focuses on three aspects of communication:  self-empathy, empathy and honest self-expression. And of course, the more I learn about NVC, the more I realise there's more to learn!

NVC has increased my confidence to communicate with others in a more structured way, and express my observations, feelings, needs and requests with clarity in order to resolve conflicts and differences peacefully.  

As a result I've managed to calmly facilitate conversations in situations where people with passionate opinions or anger-management problems have attempted to take control of a situation.

I've also coached others to communicate more specifically and less aggressively too (so that they state actual facts rather than make assumptions or jump to conclusions), which means that if there's ever a disagreement or heated debate, the result is usually more likely to result in a win-win situation than a stalemate - or worse.

NVC can help reduce conflict caused by clutter or disorganisation

Because clutter is a very emotive subject, it can create a lot of tension amongst family members, friends, neighbours, landlords and other agencies working with hoarders. 

Which is where NVC comes to the rescue.  

In extreme cases where clutter is a problem, using NVC techniques can help open or re-open communication channels and resolve conflict; which can mean the difference between someone feeling that their views are being listened to and taking action to reduce their clutter, or not taking action and be evicted from their home. 

"Vive la NVC" I say....

My vision is to have NVC taught in schools around the world, so that future generations will know how to use it effectively to talk to each other more respectfully, and negotiate peaceful ways of settling differences of opinion.  Imagine all that time and money it would save. Less grief, less heartache, fewer stress-related health problems....

In the meantime, I hope that by reading this blog you'll feel motivated to learn more about NVC, and that by putting it into practice it becomes as life-changing for you as it's been for me.

For more information about NVC, check out 

the Center for Nonviolent Communication website. www.cnvc.org

To find out about Gina's training days, 

check out the Calendar section of her website, or call her on 01252 728242.

Historical Hoarding Training for Professional Organisers

On Friday 28th November 2014, 

history was made 

Around 10% of the Membership of The Association of Professional Declutterers & Organisers UK (apdo-uk) came together with fire officers for the UK's first ever Hoarding Awareness Training for Professional Organisers - a fun, warts and all day designed to help people decide whether they want to take on the types of challenges associated with helping people affected by hoarding.

The event was held at Surrey Fire & Rescue Service's HQ in Reigate, and was led by Heather Matuozzo of Clouds End CIC and Cherry Rudge of Rainbow Red, advisors to The Chief Fire Officers Association's (CFOA) Hoarding Working Group.

Heather gave a fascinating insight into Hoarding Disorder - which was classified as a mental illness in The American Psychiatric Association's Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders (DSM5) published in May 2013 - and outlined typical traits of individuals with hoarding behaviours; the necessity to be a detective when assessing and working with them - in order to discover what the underlying reasons are for the hoarding - and ideas for motivating people to help them with decision-making.

  

Andy Honey of Clouds End CIC described examples of complex hoarding cases involving a multi-agency approach, and outlined options for inspiring people to disposal of unwanted items, whilst Cherry showed outlined processes, stakeholder complexities and possible risks involved when multiple agencies are involved. 

Professional organisers thinking of working with individuals with hoarding tendencies were left under no illusion about how overwhelming and time consuming it can sometimes be when working with them.  

Bryn Strudwick - Group Commander, Community Safety Manager of Surrey Fire & Rescue Service - outlined examples of fire safety dangers associated with hoarding, and what can be done to reduce the risks.  Shocking photos demonstrated where people hadn't appreciated the risks to them and their homes.  

Delegates were given a copy of Surrey Fire & Rescue Service's brand new Multi Agency DVD Staff Training Package, entitled Keeping YOU Safe from Fire Campaign.  The pack is designed to help agencies work with them to protect vulnerable people in Surrey living in the community from the risks fire.

Vasoulla Saviddou - who appeared on TV in Britain's Biggest Hoarders in 2012 - gave a fascinating insight into her personal experiences of having hoarding behaviours, and how it felt for her to have professional organisers helping her.

Heather commented: "Many thanks to Bryn Srudwick for organising a 'groundbreaking' and 'pioneering' training session - combining some natural partners for helping people with hoarding issues."

Final thought…

Never underestimate the power of your actions.

With one small gesture you can change a person’s life.

For better or for worse….

Delegate feedback

"The 'Working with Hoarders' training day today in Reigate was brilliant! Thank you both Cherry and Heather (and Andy and Vassoulla). I feel my understanding of my work is improved whether I eventually work with serious hoarding or not."

"Very insightful and I believe a must for everybody working with hoarders or contemplating to do so.  What a brilliant day!   Thanks so much." 

"The info day at Reigate was just great. So informative and interesting.  I'm so glad I managed to get there."   

"Thanks Heather and Cherry - found it very useful, not least as it really brought home what working with hoarders might involve."

Further hoarding awareness training for professional organisers planning on working with hoarders is planned, in association with Fire & Rescue Services across the UK.  

For information please contact Heather Matuozzo or Cherry Rudge.

A grand day out at the Hammersmith Hoarding event on 15th October 2014

It was all go on the apdo-uk stand at Wednesday’s Hoarding event at Hammersmith Town Hall (15th October 2014), where I was representing apdo-uk. People literally queued up to find out about the services of professional organisers!

apdo-uk’s stand was located immediately inside the main entrance to the hall, so it was impossible to miss us! A steady stream of guests started arriving from 9.30am, and my last consultation of the day finished at about 6.15pm (even though the event officially finished at 4pm!)!

It was good to meet probationary apdo-uk member Trio Wilson of Clear Space for Me who visited from Oxford, and I have to give a special thank you to fellow member Caroline Vienot of The Passionate Organiser for helping out on the stand and answering questions for a while when it got too busy – otherwise goodness knows what time I’d have got out of there!

Social Worker Fiona Harding of
Hammersmith & Fulham
Adult Social Care Team
with apdo-uk Member
Heather Matuozzo of Clouds End CIC

Whilst I didn’t get a chance to go round and see any of the stands, I’m told by Head of apdo-uk’s Hoarding Advisory Team Heather Matuozzo (of Clouds End CIC) that there were multiple agencies represented at the event, including social services, mental health (MIND), London Fire Brigade, the local Hoarding Support Group, Orbit Housing Services, clearance company Just Clear and a gentleman who was explaining about ways of selling unwanted items online.

Social Worker Fiona Harding of Hammersmith & Fulham Adult Social Care Team was there - she's co-author of an article entitled "Developing an Approach to Working with Hoarding: Space for Social Work" 

On the apdo-uk stand we had enquiries from all sorts of people including social workers, occupational therapists and community nurses from across all three Boroughs hosting the event (Hammersmith & Fulham, Kensington & Chelsea, and City of Westminster), and we also heard some very interesting experiences about and from quite a number of hoarders!

People were keen to learn about the Clutter Image Rating Scale which was devised by pioneering psychologists Dr Gail Steketee and Dr Randy O. Frost in the USA as a way to measure the degree of clutter in the kitchen, living rooms and bedrooms of hoarders homes.  It has been adopted as a best practice gauge by agencies all over the world who support hoarders, including social services and Fire & Rescue Services.

There was also interest in how to take part in hoarding research being done by Professor Paul Salkovskis, Dr James Gregory and Dr. Claire Lomax at the University of Bath. 

Plus, of course, the usual “where/how do I start decluttering?!”

One particularly interesting and relevant conversation was about DBS checks (what used to be CRB checks) and whether it is compulsory for professional organisers to have one - which currently it isn’t. However, it was made clear to me that anyone working with hoarders and vulnerable adults should definitely consider getting DBS checked if they want to get work from councils. Certainly Heather makes it compulsory for anyone working for Clouds End CIC to have a DBS check; fortunately, she can arrange this service as Clouds End is a Social Enterprise company.

At lunchtime author James Wallman gave a short talk about his book “Stuffocation”, and Heather gave a very well received Clutter Clinic talk, which resulted in a stream of people coming straight to visit the apdo-uk stand afterwards – whatever you said, thank you Heather!

BEFORE

AFTER

In the absence of apdo-uk leaflets to give out, I had to use my own business cards - as you can see, quite a few were taken during the day!  

Recycle, shop online & donate to The Firefighters Charity

One of my top highlights of 2014 was visiting the Houses of Parliament in May to help launch the first ever UK Hoarding Awareness Week, organised by the Hoarding Working Group of the Chief Fire Officers Association, of which I'm a member.  

As a result I'm also now working closely with Surrey Fire & Rescue Service, which has well and truly opened my eyes and given me a much greater understanding and appreciation of the extraordinary lengths the Fire & Rescue Services (FRS) go to to try and prevent fires and accidents, as well as fight them.

Neenaw! Just £5.00 buys a toy fire engine

Which is why I'm doing my bit to support The Fire Fighters Charity, not only by buying Christmas cards and gifts from them, but also by promoting their recycling services - something very relevant to decluttering!

Things like textile recycling, door to door clothing collections, and printer cartridge recycling helps them raise money towards the £9 million pounds per year it costs to support serving and retired members of the fire and rescue community when they are in need. 

For example, the charity runs three rehabilitation and recouperation centres; a help-line; a magazine; health, well being and welfare services, plus local support for people in their homes.

So please help me help our brave firefighters and their families by giving a donation, buying something from their online shop, or depositing your unwanted items at Fire Fighters Charity textile banks at fire stations, community sites and supermarkets across the UK (they're bright yellow with the Charity's logo on them so you can't miss them!).  Enter your postcode here (scroll down to get to the table) to find your nearest bank.

With your help we can make life easier for the wonderful people who help protect and save us, and help recycle and re-use our planet's precious resources at the same time.

Thank you.

Cherry