Let's Face It - a free photographic exhibition exploring facial Pareidolia & raising awareness of Autism

I met a lovely lady
Anna is her name
She had some virtual goggles on
As we played an Autism sensory game.

She's a very caring lady
And bright as bright can be
So I'm looking forward to her photo exhibition
To see what she can see.

By viewing inanimate objects
Which look like other things
And seeing the positive aspects of Autism
And the possibilities they bring.

She's reaching out in a non-verbal way
To connect and make people smile
Because communications that make you feel good 
Make life so much more enjoyable and worthwhile.

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Anna Vaughan-Spruce's free photographic exhibition is on at the Parochial Hall, Earlswood Road, Redhill RH1 6HE from Friday 19th January (1.30pm - 3.30pm) to Saturday 20th January (11am - 3.00pm).

The event is kindly sponsored by The Henry Smith Charity (Horley), which aims to bring about lasting change to people’s lives, helping them to benefit from and contribute to society.  They achieve this by funding organisations that work with people to reduce social and economic disadvantage.  

www.henrysmithcharity.org.uk

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According to Wikipedia, Pareidolia is "a psychological phenomenon in which the mind responds to a stimulus, usually an image or a sound, by perceiving a familiar pattern where none exists (e.g. in random data).

Common examples are perceived images of animals, faces, or objects in cloud formations, the Man in the Moon, the Moon rabbit, hidden messages within recorded music played in reverse or at higher- or lower-than-normal speeds, and hearing indistinct voices in random noise such as that produced by air conditioners or fans."

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Anna and I first met at The Autism Show in London in 2017 - we happened to be standing side by side wearing goggles and headphones whilst watching The National Autistic Society's brilliant virtual reality video about the challenges faced by some people on the Autism Spectrum when they go shopping.  

We instantly hit it off.  

As someone who is on the Autism Spectrum, she totally understands the need for the type of planning, organising and decluttering help offered by Rainbow Red and specialist members of APDO (The Association of Professional Declutterers & Organisers), and similar organisations worldwide.

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Cherry Rudge of Rainbow Red is delighted to have been invited to contribute to Jo Cooke’s book “Understanding Hoarding” (published by Sheldon Press in 2017), to talk about her experiences as the daughter of a hoarder.

She was a founder Member of APDO’s Hoarding Advisory Team and a member of The Chief Fire Officers Association’s Mental Health (formerly Hoarding) Working Group, and helped organise the first ever UK Hoarding Awareness Week in 2014, attending the event launch at the Houses of Parliament in London.

In 2013 Cherry became APDO’s Chair and Acting President, later stepping down from all her APDO roles in 2014 to care for her father who had Alzheimer’s. 

She became a Dementia Friend in 2015, and devised an ice-breaker form to empower people to discuss with a medical practitioner the affect that clutter, disorganisation and/or hoarding has had on their health, so that the most effective treatment and holistic recovery pathways can be signposted.

Cherry is an advisor to Surrey County Council, Surrey Fire & Rescue Service, and a volunteer at FastMinds ADHD/ASD support group in Kingston-upon-Thames; she helped co-ordinate their participation in the 2016 Gnome Project at Hampton Court Palace. 

Cherry undertakes regular Continuous Professional Development (CPD) training to enhance the holistic services offered by Rainbow Red, and offers training and workshops to help people understand chronic disorganisation and hoarding behaviours, the types of medical and situational situations that can cause it, and techniques that can help people affected by these complex factors make decisions and take practical, sustainable control of their homes, and their lives.

For further information please contact Cherry Rudge - Phone/Text: 07931 303310 - Email: cherry@rainbowred.co.uk

Challenges of clearing a hoarder's home

If you've ever had to clear out the home of a loved one after they've died, you'll understand how time consuming and emotionally draining it can be sorting out the legal red-tape stuff (probate), making decisions about what to keep, what should go where/to whom, etc.

So imagine having to do that for the home of a hoarder.

I've just done exactly that – it’s taken my family and I over two years to clear the property of my late father (who was a hoarder), visiting virtually every weekend; it’s just as well that I’m self-employed and was able to have the flexibility to fit other visits around work, and have a supportive family and professional organising and hoarding practitioner colleagues who were able to help.

Between us we've probably collectively spent over 1000 hours working on this exhausting project.

What I find incredible is that my dad’s hoarding behaviour was mild compared to what I’ve seen professionally in the homes of other hoarders.  Goodness knows how long it might take to excavate and dissect some of those homes in the event of the person passing away.

My heart goes out to family members who – like me – have to take on this challenge, and the burden of responsibility and commitment of time and energy that goes with it.

Children of hoarders worldwide who have had to do the same will no doubt relate to the following story.

                                       

There's been:

·      on average at least one trip to a charity shop or tip per week

·      umpteen bags of shredding (paperwork like car insurance documents dating back to 1952)

·      three removal vans full of unwanted furniture

·      several bonfires of furniture the charity folks won’t take

·      a stack of stuff that's been sold online (including three 1950's wooden TV sets that went to an opera school in London, a box of 1970's/80's Smurf figures that surprised us as they turned out to be quite collectable), and assorted computers from yesteryear)

·      53 original Oxo tins

·      a wash tub that turned out to be so old that it’s been donated to a museum

·      several hundred books and newspaper/magazine clippings

·      five decades of part-dismantled lawn mowers, washing machines, car parts in the garage, barn and four sheds, plus cans of oil that had been drained from cars about 30 years ago, together with assorted mechanic and DIY tools in varying degrees of rust or disintegration

·      a loft containing loads of radio transmitter equipment, vintage valves and transistors dating back to the 1950’s

·      Enough wood to build another shed!

·      LOTS of rubbish and dust!

And that’s not including:

·      the vast number of boxes containing photos, my Mum's paintings, assorted family memorabilia and yet more paperwork now stored in the loft/garage/spare rooms of various family members waiting for us to sort through over the coming months (hopefully not years….)  

·      the massive piles of assorted paraphernalia that’s been piled up in the house and garden waiting for the clearance people to deal with prior to the house being demolished because of years of neglect and disrepair

So my wonderfully supportive family’s journey (and time needed to reach a point of closure in order to finally grieve) continues....

Along the way the exercise has been likened to an archaeological dig, which is about right because of the layers of decades of paperwork, newspapers and technology we’ve found.

Occasionally people have told us “just put it all in a skip”; what they don’t realise is that the contents of every book, drawer, cupboard, box and disintegrating confetti-like carrier bag needed to be checked in case there were things like money or personal memorabilia inside. 

We would have missed all sorts of treasures, such as drawers containing money, jewellery, or family memorabilia and medals belonging to ancestors who fought at Gallipoli - which we hadn’t known about.

I count myself fortunate to a professional understanding and patience about hoarding behaviours and why I believe my father was a hoarder – because many other families aren’t able to accept and forgive when coming to terms with this debilitating disorder that can – and does - tear families apart. 

Thank goodness for specialist Professional Hoarding Practitioners like Heather Matuozzo of Clouds End CIC and Jo Cooke of Hoarding Disorders UK (author of the excellent book “Understanding Hoarding”, that I contributed to with a story about my experiences as the daughter of a hoarder) who are skilled at working with people who exhibit hoarding behaviours, and help them reduce the amount of possessions that they own before it becomes the job/chore of family members and friends to clear a property once someone has passed away.  

They're also busy training personnel from local authorities, housing associations, charities and the next generation of Professional Organisers and Hoarding Practitioners - thank goodness, as Rainbow Red has had so many enquiries this year from people asking for help that we can't cope with the demand for our services.

So, as I'm publishing this blog on New Year's Eve, you may be wondering about my New Year’s Resolution?

It's to plough through my parent’s possessions as soon as possible, reduce the amount of my own clutter and theirs, get my own home in order and ensure that whoever ends up sorting out my belongings and affairs when I die has a quick and easy job to do. 

Hopefully this blog will be thought-provoking enough to help you think about doing the same….

Wishing you a happy, health and as clutter-free New Year as possible!

Click here to return to Rainbow Red's website

"Understanding Hoarding" - by Jo Cooke

"Understanding Hoarding" by Jo Cooke is the first book of its kind in the UK that''s been written by a British author (most of the other books about hoarding have originated in the US).

If, like me, your life has been touched or changed by hoarding behaviours and you'd like to understand more about it, then I encourage you to invest in this book - it's been compared to the international works of Steketee, Frost et al, all of whom are experts and published authors on the subject.

Jos' book is easy to read, sensitively written, empathetic and practical, and includes contributions and case studies from hoarders themselves, families of hoarders, professional practitioners, the Fire & Rescue Service and others.

Jo Cooke of
Hoarding Disorders UK CIC

Jo's insight into the world of hoarding comes as a result of being the daughter of a hoarder - as am I.  

It lead her to eventually set up a specialist social enterprise called Hoarding Disorders UK CIC (Community Interest Company) based in Newbury, Berkshire, as well as two (currently) hoarding support groups.

I hadn't read the book prior to it being launched, and have been absolutely delighted by it - it really does live up to one of the reviews on Amazon, written within only two days of the book being published:



"The definitive book on understanding hoarding.   It is both an easy read and beautifully written. It will become the bible for people affected by hoarding. Hoarders themselves, families of hoarders, and people that come into contact with hoarders such as social workers, housing officers, the fire services and many others.

As well as addressing what is hoarding and why people hoard it gives good advice on decluttering and sustainability.

Jo writes in an easy style with a great deal of commonsense, knowledge and passion.Everything you need to know is in this book, the complete guide."  

Very sadly many children of hoarders fall out with their parents; the stuff can tear resentful families apart.

I wish it had been available as I was growing up, so that I could have learned what might be behind my controlling father's habits.  It would have given me the knowledge to look beyond the stuff and work towards developing a stronger and more emotionally rewarding relationship with him. 

In later life he developed Alzheimer's, which made caring for him (and then clearing out his house once he'd died) a time consuming, financially draining and emotional roller coaster of a journey.

Jo very kindly invited me to contribute to "Understanding Hoarding", and has even credited me in the acknowledgement at the beginning, for which I'm truly grateful!  

So I must thank some very special people, without whom my contributions to the book would not have been possible.

Firstly, my client Peter - for allowing me to tell his story.  Next, Sheena Crankson and Felix Pring of FAST Minds ADHD Support Group in Kingston-upon-Thames - for their support in helping me create the diagram (below) for the book.  

It's designed to give people an insight into the thought processes of the ADHD Brain in the context of organising, clutter, disorganisation and hoarding, and has been well received by people with ADHD.

The day after "Understanding Hoarding" was published, a lady who has the condition (as do members of her family) asked if it would be OK to take it to school to show the teachers, to help them understand how difficult and debilitating it can be to have ADHD/ADD.

Members of my local ADHD support group were very excited to see the difficulties they have with clutter and disorganisation shown in picture form (because pictures paint a thousand words).

Heather Matuozzo of Clouds End CIC (founder of the first social enterprise in England specialising in hoarding behaviours) has been a great mentor and friend on my personal and professional development journey, and has also made an invaluable contribution to Jo's book.

And finally, I must thank my late parents - without whom I would not be writing this blog now.

I will always be grateful to Jo Cooke for allowing me to contribute to her wonderful book, and for empowering readers to look at their possessions, other people's possessions and other people's lives differently.  

Because hoarding isn't about the stuff, it's about the people.

Why Rainbow Red?

People often ask me why I named my business Rainbow Red.  Well, there are various parts to my answer:

1. I love rainbows
2. I love colourful things
3. I wanted my logo to have an uplifting symbol that makes people smile, and gives hope
4. Red happens to be my favourite colour
5. Cherries are red (all sorts of different shades of red)
6. In colour-therapy, red is considered to be a balancing/grounding colour that is supposed to give courage and strength

Hand on heart I promise I had no idea at the time of all the other connections that rainbows have!  Amongst other things:

1. The rainbow is a symbol of people who are lesbian, gay, bisexual, transgender or questioning (their sexuality)/queer (LGBTQ) pride and LGBT social movement
2. The rainbow-colored infinity symbol (right) is often used as a symbol for the diversity of the autism spectrum as well as neurodiversity in general.
1. Note:  I now believe that a large proportion of my older clients have undiagnosed Autism Spectrum Conditions (ASC)
3. Junior Girlguides are called Rainbows
4. There's a fab UK children's charity called the Rainbow Trust
5. A hard rock heavy metal band - not really my cup of tea! 

And then, of course, there's the fab tv show called Rainbow that was a childhood favourite from the 1970s! 

So I'll stick to the association with uplifting rather than ear-splitting images/things if you don't mind, and leave you with a photo taken today at Hampton Court Palace after my husband and I had proudly walked round the gardens to see all 15 fabulous unearthed gnomes (I helped create Umbriel of the Tiltyard, with my friends from the Fastminds and Unique ADHD Groups) - the best way to end a superb day!

Live alone? Worried about being buried by clutter and no one knowing you're unwell, or worse...?

If you live alone and don't have many friends, who would know if something happened to you?  

If an accident occurred and you died at home alone, what state would your body be in by the time someone found you?  

Sadly, for some people, such as the elderly with no family or friends, or those who isolate themselves from social interaction - including some hoarders and those with issues relating to Autism and neuro-diversity - the answers to these questions can be painful to hear, and decidedly unpleasant for the rescuers if the scenario came true. 

Add this to the conscious and unconscious anxiety that often goes along with having heaps of stuff ("what shall we do with it? I don't want it to go to waste; it might come in handy one day so I shouldn't get rid of it"), and the result can be a melt-down which causes people to freeze with fear, and end up doing nothing.

So how CAN people reduce the risk of all this happening?

Here are a few options which could reduce the amount of time that might go by before an alarm was raised about a person's wellbeing and location.

Cultivate a friendly neighbour

Maybe have an agreement with a friendly neighbour, postman or firefighter or police officer whereby if your curtains aren’t pulled back by a certain time each day, they phone you or knock on your door to check you’re OK.

• You may want to make it a reciprocal arrangement and give them a key, as my elderly father did with his elderly neighbour, supporting each other.
• A firefighter or police officer might be a good person to befriend, as it would probably be they who would be the ones authorised to break in if nobody else has a key, or knows the code for a key safe https://keysafe.co.uk

Phone call check-ups

CareCalls is a telephone reassurance call service where - for just £3 per week - you can get up to 4 automated phone calls per day, seven days per week.  And if they don’t respond someone else (who you nominate – preferably with a key to your property) is informed.  www.carecalls.co.uk.  

• I can’t vouch for them personally (yet), but it seems a great idea
• If you’re often out and about (including holidays), choose a time for the calls that would suit your schedule. 

AgeUK also offers a “Call in Time” service, where you get to actually talk with someone, although that’s primarily for people over 60.

Neighbourhood Watch/religion/culture watch

Perhaps ask your local Neighbourhood Watch group, local religious or cultural group for some advice or support.

Lions Club Message in a Bottle

I organise for all my elderly or vulnerable clients who live at home alone to have a LionsClub Message in a Bottle (usually available from local community or day care centres).  

The idea of the scheme is that people entering your home in case of an emergency have access to personal information about you, such as Next of Kin and what medication you’re on. http://lionsclubs.co/lions-message-in-a-bottle/

Legal stuff - Lasting Power of Attorney (LPA) & Will

Appointing an Attorney to act on your behalf if something happened to you would ensure someone can make decisions about your affairs (health and wellbeing, finance and property) if you are incapacitated (ie. not dead but unwell – eg. had a serious stroke).  

Crucially, a solicitor can act as an Attorney, which could be appropriate for anyone who doesn’t have any close relatives or friends who could act on their behalf.

Here’s a link to some information about LPA's on the Government’s website.  https://www.gov.uk/power-of-attorney/overview

Consult a solicitor to create a Will; this will ensure that your funeral and disposal of assets are carried out according to your wishes.  https://www.gov.uk/make-will

Fit a Telecare System

Having done Surrey Fire & Rescue Service's excellent Dementia training, we're massive fans of Telecare systems.

They provide a 24-hour emergency call system, which empowers people to live independently in their own home, safe in the knowledge that help is at hand at the touch of a button.

The equipment is easy to install and consists of a small base unit linked to your telephone socket and a pendant trigger, which can be worn discreetly around a resident's neck or wrist.  They can simply press a button in an emergency and an alarm call will be sent to their alarm centre, which is staffed 24 hours a day, 365 days a year. 

Consult your local authority for details of your local scheme.

Safe & Well Check (also known as a Home Fire Safety Check)

Reduce the risk of fires in your home, by speaking to your local Fire & Rescue Service about them visiting to carry out a Safe & Well (Home Fire Safety) check.

The visits focus on three key areas:

·       Identify and be aware of the potential fire risks within your home.

·       Know what to do in order to reduce or prevent these risks.

·       Put together an escape plan in case a fire does break out and ensure you have working smoke alarms.

The inspection of your home is not as intrusive as it sounds. The Fire & Rescue Service will visit your home, sit down and talk to you about fire safety issues in your home covering areas such as electrical safety, smoking safety and the use of electric blankets.

Then, with your permission, they’ll look at the various rooms within your home paying particular attention to areas such as overloads plug sockets or wires trapped under carpets. They will also ensure that doors shut correctly and advise you of any remedial work that they feel may be in order for you to become safer within your home. You are welcome to ask any questions that you feel you need answering in respect of your home safety. They will also run through an escape plan if you do not already have one.

In addition to the above, you may qualify for free smoke alarms to be fitted within your home. The Fire & Rescue Service will carry this out completely free of charge and can fit them in a matter of minutes, ensuring you are safer from the moment they leave.

Ask a trusted person to help you declutter your piles

Areas of your home that attract mountains of clutter (like newspapers) can become a death trap if avalanches occur. 

A declutter buddy must be empathetic, non-judgemental and have your best interests in mind, rather than their own agenda. 

And if you can’t find a declutter-buddy to help you, there’s bound to be a professional organiser nearby who can.  Find one here.  Not all of them work have experience of working with hoarders or people with mental health problems, so be choosy and do ask lots of questions until you feel comfortable you’ve found the right person.

Use the ice-breaker form

If any or all of this becomes just too overwhelming and makes you feel ill or at your wits end, fear not - all is not lost. 

Download and complete this ice-breaker form, to start up a conversation with your GP or other medical practitioner to ask for help.  If it doesn’t say exactly what you want to say, don’t worry – nothing is perfect; write on it and play around with the words until it says what you want it to say. 

Find out more about it here.

It’ll be a starting point that will give you something to talk about, and could mean that if something happens, you won’t be alone in your home - lost amongst the piles - for too long before help arrives.

Do please let us know how you get on.

First published July 2015 - updated June 2016

Relationships & Mental Health

It's Mental Health Awareness Week, which is focusing on RELATIONSHIPS. 

#‎MHAW16‬ ‪#‎Relationships 

As a professional organiser, I've lost track of how many times I've worked with people who I believe may have undiagnosed Autism Spectrum Condition (including Asperger's) or ADHD - conditions which can make every day skills like organising, planning, house-keeping or time-management difficult.

I've also lost track of the number of times where my client and their partner (or client and other family members) have relationship and/or mental health problems - often due to frustrations about clutter, disorganisation or hoarding.

And nine times out of ten, these two situations can go hand in hand with some kind of bullying, oppression, repression or suppression in their lives for one or both parties, which may have started or happened in childhood.  The result can be low self-esteem, lack confidence, anxiety, depression or all of these - or worse. 

It's a vicious circle:  undiagnosed condition + mental illness = damaged relationships = downward spiraling physical and mental state for one or both partners = the clutter continues or gets worse.

So I encourage clients to step back and consider things from an holistic perspective.  Ask themselves "what might have made them - or their partner - different (not "neurotypical" - NT)?"

Realising that conditions such as ADHD and Autism are treatable and not just an excuse for laziness or exhibiting "unreasonable", inattentive or obsessive behaviour can transform a relationship, as can a better understanding of mental illness.  

With the right diagnosis and the right treatment, perhaps they would have more patience with each other, and relationship breakdowns could be prevented.  

This video about relationships for spouses with Asperger's explains how easy it can be for seemingly impatient or uncaring partners to misunderstand situations and put relationships and people's mental health at risk - their own and others.  

I love the idea that the Mental Health Foundation has come up with for Mental Health Awareness Week 2016 - making a Relationship Resolution; pledging to take the time to assess how much time we actively commit to building and maintaining good relationships, and to ask whether we can invest more in being present with and listening to friends, family and colleagues - for the sake of our mental health and others.

By promoting good relationships and tackling the barriers to forming them - including mounting pressures on work–life balance and the impact of bullying and unhealthy relationships - we can help ourselves and others deal with life-
clutter as well as physical clutter and disorganisation.  

Reducing mental health pressures on our bodies helps improve our physical health and enables us to live longer and happier lives with fewer physical and mental health problems.  It's a win-win situation, which proves that decluttering is good for us!

Life Isn't For Ever, so let's live it well....

How can clutter, disorganisation or hoarding affect our health?

LIFE - Life Isn't For Ever, so treasure it, and yourself and live it WELL!

That was the key message from the workshop that I ran recently at the annual conference of The Association of Professional Declutterers & Organisers UK (APDO) in London. 

Participants (including professional organisers and a recovering-hoarder) came away with a better understanding of:

• the types of health and wellbeing risks associated with living in a malfunctioning home
• how ill-health - both physical and mental - can cause clutter, disorganisation and hoarding
• where to go in the UK for appropriate help and support

I also encouraged professional organisers to tell their clients about the ice-breaker form I devised in 2015 - it will enable them to have a conversation with a medical professional if clutter or disorganisation is affecting their health, or that of a family member or friend.

As the theme of the 2016 conference was "The Power of Letting Go", the workshop included topics like how to let go of stigmas associated with asking for help, by using CBT techniques to feel more confident about being able to ask for help.  Which is why our wise owl is flying the flag for Time To Change -  England's biggest programme to challenge mental health stigma and discrimination.

One of the workshop participants - Jo Cooke of Berkshire-based Hoarding Disorders UK - said "I came away very inspired by Cherry’s presentation.  Cherry’s workshop was not only well researched and extremely informative. But Cherry also highlighted the crucial facts relating to the implications, impact and regulations surrounding hoarding disorder.  Cherry speaks with confidence and passion.  I came away with some excellent tips on how to help my clients. Cherry is very inspirational.  I would certain recommend attending this workshop. Excellent."

It was the second year in a row that I'd run a workshop at the two-day conference, where this year's speakers included Carl Honoré, globetrotting ambassador for the Slow Movement;  Canadian organising guru Colette Robicheau; Gwendoline Alderton from GA Interiors (UK) who talked about Style for Sale like a Professional, and Keren Lerner from Top Left Design who explained How to Create a Killer Website.

For more information about the clutter and health workshop or to book Cherry to run this workshop for your group, please contact: cherry@rainbowred.co.uk or phone 07931 303310.

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Cherry Rudge of Surrey-based Rainbow Red is the daughter of a hoarder, so has had personal experience not only of the day-to-day physical, psychological and emotional trials and tribulations faced by families affected by living with too much stuff, but also the sensitivities required to calmly help people declutter and create order out of chaos. 

She is a pioneering member of apdo-uk’s Hoarding Advisory Team, and a member of The Chief Fire Officers Association’s (CFOA) Mental Health & Hoarding Working Group (which organised the first ever UK Hoarding Awareness Week in May 2014).

In addition to 1-2-1 sessions with hoarders and those affected by chronic disorganisation, she offers training and advocacy services and is an advisor to organisations including media production companies, Surrey Fire & Rescue Service, ADHD Support Groups and social landlords.

Originally published in March 2016 - updated in June 2016