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Monday, 6 September 2021

Sarah Harding (Girls Aloud) had ADHD and died from breast cancer

Yesterday's news about the death of the British singer/actress/celebrity Sarah Harding is all over the front pages of today's UK newspapers.

Sarah sadly lost her life to breast cancer, aged just 39 years old.

She had been a member of the hugely successful British/Irish girl band Girls Aloud (which sold over 4.3 million singles and 4 million albums sold in the UK alone between 2002 and 2012); went on to have a successful career as a solo artist, actor, model, tv presenter and winner of the tv show Big Brother in 2017.  

Her autobiography "Hear Me Out" was published in March 2021, only a few months before her death, when she knew her cancer was terminal.

Before yesterday I admit to knowing nothing whatsoever about Sarah, except that she was famous.  So I was intrigued by the media coverage about her which revealed a fascinating, energetic character whose rollercoaster life and career screamed out at me that she was probably Neurodiverse.

So I did some online research, and sure enough, discovered that she was indeed diagnosed with ADHD as a child.  Which made total sense when I read interviews where she'd admitted things like:

  • She eventually dropped out of school, having attended seven different ones
  • She'd had multiple jobs, including waiting tables at Pizza Hut, van driver, debt collector and as a BT operator - while performing in clubs and pubs in the evenings
  • ‘I might come across as confident when I’m out or onstage, but that’s my mask. When I’m around people you can’t shut me up; I’m a people person and I love to talk’
  • "I'm very hyper, I’ve got a low attention span, I’m a control freak and I definitely have a bit of OCD, too." 
  • She'd experienced alcohol dependency and depression over the years
  • “I’m the rock chick, blonde bombshell, party girl, the caner of the band”.
  • She didn't take medication for her ADHD until she joined Girls Aloud and began struggling with the pressures of fame
  • "Somewhere - amongst the nightclubs, the frocks and hairdos, the big chart hits, and the glamour of being a popstar - the other Sarah Harding got utterly lost. She's the one who's been forgotten". 

Unfortunately, as with many other ADHD-ers, it’s likely that Sarah’s need for stimulation from others and impaired Executive Functioning meant that she neglected her own health and wellbeing (she probably self-medicated with alcohol as a coping strategy), and didn’t take action to address symptoms that could have indicated symptoms of a life-threatening condition until it was too late....

In my research I found various articles in which Sarah Harding admitted that she had dismissed a lump on her breast as a cyst during the pandemic in 2020, disguising her "denial" as COVID fear and concern for overrun hospitals.

In Sarah's autobiography "Hear Me Out", she wrote: 

"At first I thought it was just a cyst. The trouble was the pain was getting worse.  It got so bad that I couldn’t sleep in a bed. Eventually my skin started to bruise. By now I was terrified.

“One day I woke up realising I’d been in denial. Yes there was a pandemic but it was almost as if I’d been using that as an excuse not to face up to the fact that something was very wrong.”

It was only when Sarah's skin began to bruise that she sought medical help.  Unfortunately, her lungs and kidneys were already failing and she was rushed to intensive care after a port fitted into her chest led to sepsis.  Doctors put her in a medically induced coma for two weeks, followed by chemotherapy and a mastectomy.

I urge organisations that treat and support those affected by cancer to take the opportunity of Sarah’s sad passing to target Neurodiverse communities and raise awareness of the importance of regularly checking your breasts and taking action as soon as possible if there are irregularities.

Meanwhile, one article about Sarah (which was published in The Guardian Newspaper only a few hours after the announcement of her death) really struck me more than all the others.  

It was written by Michael Cragg, a music writer for the Guardian and Observer, and Editor of BEAT magazine, who included the phrase "....she suffered from undiagnosed ADHD as a child.....".

Which gave me a great idea that I’m going to suggest to Mr Cragg. 

Sadly, as Sarah is no longer around for him to ask her what this statement means to her, perhaps he might like to consider interviewing other performers who have been diagnosed with ADHD, and write articles about their views on how they might be able to relate to his statement about how Sarah "suffered from undiagnosed ADHD as a child", and what eventually getting a diagnosis meant to them, and how they live with the condition now. 

For example, for ADHD how about interviewing Dave Grohl (Nirvana, the Foo Fighters), Will.i.am, Mel B, Steven Tyler (Aerosmith front-man), Ozzy Ozbourne (who also has Dyslexia) or Justin Timberlake. 

And then perhaps other famous music industry icons too, who have been diagnosed with other Neurodevelopmental conditions such as:

  • Dyslexia - Mick Fleetwood, Noel Gallagher, Jewel, Carly Simon, Sir Richard Barnson
  • Dyspraxia - Florence Welch, of Florence +The Machine
  • Autism - David Byrne, lead singer of Talking Heads; Gary Numan

Maybe also ask them about their own experiences of being affected by cancer, addictions or mental ill-health while you’re at it Mr Cragg? 

Before it’s too late, like it was for Sarah and countless other performers…

#ADHD #cancer #SarahHarding #GirlsAloud #mentalhealth #chronicdisorganisation #ExecutiveDysfunction #Neurodiversity #stopthestigma #breastcancer #music #celebrity #bigbrother

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Cherry Rudge is a Professional Hoarding Practitioner, trainer, mentor, mentor, consultant, activist, campaigner and creator of the Hoarding Icebreaker Form.

Her late father had hoarding behaviours, which is why she now specialises in working with people with hoarding behaviours and complex needs.

She has been a:

For further information please contact Cherry Rudge - Phone/Text: 07931 303310 - Email: cherry@rainbowred.co.uk

Thursday, 20 May 2021

UK estimates for people affected by Hoarding Disorder & Chronic Disorganisation

OPEN LETTER TO ALL CCGs, LOCAL AUTHORITIES & GOVERNMENT DEPARTMENTS

Dear Sirs

**Hypothetical UK Statistic Alert**

Ever since I became a Professional Organiser (back in 2010) and started learning about how to help people with hoarding behaviours, books written by hoarding/OCD experts (usually based in the USA, where most of the original research on hoarding behaviours was carried out) told us that the estimated percentage of the population with Hoarding Disorder was anywhere between about 2% and 6%.

How accurate those figures are now I don't know - I don't think anyone knows. The statistics may have changed since COVID-19 changed everything - hopefully one day new research will be carried out that tells us.

Meanwhile, even though I'm not known for being a number cruncher, I thought it would be interesting to work how those statistics might apply to the UK.

So, for the purposes of this exercise let's assume that the estimate of 5% shown in the thought-provoking image above (and the one below, both kindly created for Hoarding Awareness Week by Steff Lee, Creative Director of animation studio Kinobino) is about right for the total percentage of people likely to be living with:
and/or
    • Disorganisation has been a factor in their life for many years
    • Their level of disorganisation interferes with the quality of their daily life, or negatively affect their relationships with others
    • Disorganisation has persisted despite self-help attempts to get organised (MANY of our clients own or have at some point owned at least one organising book!)
    • They hoard information (saving many articles, newspapers or books they’ve read)
    • They suffer from a “fear of filing”, and lose or misplace papers and items despite keeping them out, making it difficult to retrieve them
    • They have a compulsive shopping or acquiring problem
    • Their desk, floor and/or countertops are covered in papers
    • They have a wide range of interests and several uncompleted tasks and projects
    • They find it difficult to stay focused, are easily distracted or tend to lose track of time
That means that in the UK:
  • Out of 100 people you know, 5 of them could be living with issues related to clutter or disorganisation on a daily basis.
  • Out of a current population of about 68 million people in the UK (Source: Office of National Statistics), there could be around 3.4 million people who have hoarding tendencies or find it difficult to create order in their homes or their lives
  • Of the 15.5 million people in the UK currently aged over 60* (Source: MHS - the largest charity care provider for older people in the UK), there could potentially be 775,000 people currently struggling with or getting help to (for example):
    • manage and maintain nutrition - if they find it difficult to budget or plan ahead, or are self-neglecting and eating out-of-date food, or don't have a working fridge, or can't get into their kitchen because of the obstacles in the way
    • maintain personal hygiene - they may not be able to access their bathroom or toilet, or may not have hot water because their boiler doesn't work and they've not had it repaired because they're too embarrassed to allow people into their home
    • make use of their home safely - floors may be scattered with obstacles which could potentially cause someone to slip, trip or fall and injure themselves. And there may also be fire risks because of the accumulation of items that they've collected over many years, especially if they're using faulty electrical equipment which could cause a fire.
    • maintain an habitable home environment - they may not be able to get into rooms at all because they're so full, and have to sleep on a chair in the hall instead of a comfy bed
    • maintain family or other personal relationships - it's sadly very common for people affected by issues related to clutter, disorganisation and hoarding behaviours to be estranged from family members (who have become so frustrated with them and what they perceived was their refusal to declutter), and feel lonely, unloved and unsupported by services who don't understand the extent of their difficulties
    • accessing and engaging in work, training, education or volunteering - many of my clients have complex mental and/or physical health problems (usually because they've received inadequate or inappropriate support or treatment for many years) and are unable to work as a result
I could go on....

*Over 60's is the age group at greater risk of needing hospital treatment or having a fire in their homes than other age groups.

What don't we know?

What we don't have are the statistics about the impact on families, friends and support networks affected by clutter/disorganisation/hoarding-related issues. For example:
  • Children who :
    • might have nowhere to do their homework because there are no clear surfaces
    • don't have clean school uniforms to wear because there's no washing machine at home, or it doesn't work - or whose clothes smell of damp because there's nowhere for them to dry properly because of all the stuff
    • don't have friends round to visit their home or have sleepovers - because they're too embarrassed or there's no room to entertain them, or because their parents don't allow them because they're so worried about people judging them for having such a chaotic, clutter-filled, dysfunctional home
    • might have asthma which doesn't get better because of the mould on the walls - much of which may be hidden by obstacles like mountains of clothes, toys, and assorted paraphernalia
    • might be skin-picking, self-harming or socially distant because they feel stressed by their living environments and they don't think there's anyone they can talk to about it - or they've been told NOT to talk to anyone about it...
  • The people who give up all hope of ever feeling organised or receiving non-judgemental help and support, and take to drugs or alcohol to make them feel better - except often they make their situations worse, and without appropriate help and support they may feel so desperate that they attempt to take their own lives....
  • The countless people whose health has been affected by living with partners, parents or children who refuse to let go of possessions, or whose homes have become unsafe because of unwise decisions
  • Anyone who is supporting (or attempting to support) those who struggle to manage their affairs
  • People who give up full-time employment or take on part-time work so they can sort out Lasting Power of Attorney and become carers for parents or loved-ones with Dementia, and at the same time sort through and gradually get rid of their piles of stuff (losing track of the number of times they filled up recycling bins and took items to the charity shop, recycling centre and shredding company)
  • Relatives who inherit properties full of treasures and non-treasures such as furniture; assorted knickknacks; paperwork (possibly dating back over 50 years); books (some that were given to grandparents and great-grandparents); countless packs and albums of photos and 35mm slides; cars; tools; televisions and radios (dating back to the 1950's, or beyond); paintings, easels, paints and other painting/drawing paraphernalia; equipment for flower arranging and cake decorating, which then clutters up their own home until they have time to go through it
    • my own personal experience is that we're still sorting out my parent's stuff, 6-years after Dad died (and 4 years after the house was demolished) - and counting....
  • Relatives living abroad who have to put their trust in Professional Organisers, Professional Hoarding Practitioners and Solicitors to look after the health and wellbeing of elderly parents/aunts/uncles/grandparents (delete as applicable), and keep them safe
I could go on....

And let's not forget the professionals and trades people whose jobs involve working with people affected by clutter, disorganisation or hoarding behaviours on a DAILY basis, such as:
  • The Firefighters who put their lives at risk to extinguish blazes in homes containing too many possessions, and attempt to rescue residents from burning buildings
  • The care workers, ambulance crews and Paramedics who climb over piles of newspapers to attend to elderly ladies who: insist that they didn't fall over, they fell; forget to take medication; eat sugary foods every day despite being Diabetic, and resist every effort to leave the home where they've lived all their lives
  • The Nurses, Discharge Teams, Occupational Therapists and other hospital personnel tasked with finding somewhere for patients to stay if they're healthy enough to be discharged from a ward, but their homes are too unsafe for them to return to
  • The Social Workers who enthusiastically entered the profession with a passion for improving the lives of vulnerable people and were dedicated to making a difference, who now need time off work due to stress from high caseloads and negative work environments, or leave the profession completely after only a few years.
    • According to  writing in Workforce (the website for social workers) on September 4, 2020, four in ten newly qualified social workers (NQSWs) anticipated quitting the profession within the next five years.
  • The plumbers, electricians and maintenance people who struggle to get to radiators or boilers, or repair properties that have fallen into disrepair 
I could go on....

What I know from my own personal and professional experiences is that:
  • All these scenarios can be life-changing for those involved
  • Neither hoarding behaviours nor Chronic Disorganisation are lifestyle choices!


Both hoarding behaviours and Chronic Disorganisation can:
  • cause great distress
  • make people feel stigmatised and embarrassed
  • cost lives
  • cause bed-blocking (because a patient's home may be too unsafe or dysfunctional for them to return home to)
  • affect families, livelihoods, employment, benefits, and financial stability
  • be traumatic and require specialist support and therapy
  • lead to self-medicating, whether it be by shopping, drinking or taking drugs
  • be signs of self-neglect (in the UK, The Care Act 2014 states that hoarding can indicate an extreme lack of self-care, and therefore could be classified as self-neglect)
In both cases, that person can be extremely vulnerable to abuse, which is how people can end up in abusive relationships or becoming involved with the judicial system - as a perpetrator or a victim, or both.

What causes Chronic Disorganisation or hoarding behaviours?

Both are often mis-diagnosed and mis-treated by medical professionals, who prescribe anti-anxiety/ant-depressant medication without attempting to investigate or address the root causes of their patient's Executive Dysfunction - their ability to (for example):
  • plan - eg. where they're going to store things they acquire, or how to pay for them without going into debt
  • organise - eg. their homes
  • make decisions - eg. what to buy or how many they need (eg. they can't decide which colour t-shirt they should buy, so purchase one in each colour)
  • manage their time - eg. when they're going to set aside time to start/finish all the projects they believe they need their craft items for
  • manage their emotions - eg. not go into rages at people for telling them they need to have a clear-out (because they might be perfectionists and feel so anxious and pressured about making a decision that they can't do it without empathetic help and support to facilitate their decision-making)
I could go on....

In my experience of working with clients with complex needs, it's easier to assume (unless proven otherwise) that most of them have either Autism or ADHD or both, and/or other neurological conditions - usually undiagnosed.

In the case of engrained hoarding behaviours, there has often been some kind of trauma in the person's life, and they have one or more diagnosed mental illness.

What they rarely have is adequate or appropriate support from medical professionals able to identify that the root cause of their anxiety or distress could be a Neurodiverse condition such as ADHD, Autism, Dyslexia or Dyspraxia; mental health conditions;Acquired Brain Injuries (ABI), and sadly now also Long COVID.

Nor do they have enough assistance or support to manage day-to-day activities, which is how things become more and more chaotic, debts occur, bills don't get paid, etc.

Predicting the future

In a report published by the Office For National Statistics in 2019, they predict that the proportion of the UK population aged 85 years and over will almost double over the next 25 years, and that by 2043 the UK population will have jumped to 72.4 million.

So I did a very basic comparison of what could happen to the total UK population statistics previously mentioned, based on three possible scenarios:
  1. No action is taken and the estimated percentage stays the same at 5%
  2. No action is taken and the estimated percentage increases to around 7%
  3. Action is taken to reduce the risks outlined above, and the estimated percentage of people living with clutter, disorganisation or hoarding in the UK gets reduced from around 5% to 3%

Whilst some may argue that the results include people of all ages rather than adults only, it's important to understand that there is a genetic element to hoarding behaviours and chronic disorganisation which shouldn't be ignored.

Benefits of change

What is clear from the results is that investing in positive action to create policies with more holistic approaches to supporting this group could, for example:
  • Reduce the number of older people needing hospital treatment or having a fire in their homes
  • Potentially reduce bed-blocking in hospitals
  • Increase the number of people who are employed (so pay taxes), feel they have a purpose in life (which should improve their health and wellbeing and reduce the pressure on health and social care)
  • Improve public confidence in CCGs, local and national Government
Transformation plan

Reducing the risk of Chronic Disorganisation and hoarding behaviours occurring would require (for example):
  • Strong leadership from National Government, with involvement of ALL key stakeholder groups from Day 1 - not just politicians and accountants
  • Re-structuring health and social care to be more collaborative and take a more holistic and supportive approach to managing clients/patients
  • Empowering people affected by clutter, disorganisation or hoarding issues to access treatment and support
  • Recruiting, training/re-training and retaining enough specialist clinicians able to diagnose and support people with complex needs
  • Training/re-training GPs, medical professionals, social workers, educators, emergency services, solicitors, etc about hoarding behaviours, chronic disorganisation, Executive Dysfunction and the Hoarding Ice-Breaker Form (that I created to empower people to ask for help if their health has been adversely affected by these issues)
  • Funding research on these topics and introducing them into the National Curriculum so that all children and eventually adults begin to talk about organisational disorders in the same way they're now encouraged to discuss mental ill-health
Can you see the (£) signs?

Yes, there could be a lot of funding required to make this happen, and yes, it could take a while to achieve a worthwhile Return on Investment (ROI) for this major transformation programme.

If nothing else, I invite you to purely asses the benefits case associated with perpetually having to replace the exhausted and overwhelmed health and social care professionals struggling to cope with ridiculous caseloads, in the same way as the people I've been writing about are struggling - the ones they're supposed to be there to help.

Remember, hoarded and cluttered homes can kill people - whether by fire, mould or having a fall. So doing nothing to reduce the risk is not only playing with fire, it's like fanning the flames, falling over the fire extinguisher and knocking yourself out.

And that wouldn't be a very pleasant lifestyle choice, would it?

Yours practically...
Cherry
+ + + + +

Are you one of those people who's struggling? Or do you know someone in need help and support?

If so, you could:
  • Help for Hoarders
    www.helpforhoarders.co.uk
    Take a look at the website HelpForHoarders where there’s loads of information and self-help suggestions, plus a forum where people can share experiences amongst a community of hope and understanding
  • Speak to someone who may be able to signpost you for help and support - that might be your GP (or other medical professional), Adult Social Care at your local authority, your landlord, Citizens Advice or even the leader of your faith group.
If you don’t know what to say, you could try using the Hoarding Ice-Breaker Form (currently available in English, Dutch and Spanish) to start a conversation - simply print it out, tick a few boxes, estimate what level on the Clutter Image Rating Scale (CIR) the piles are in the various areas of your home, and hand it over to your trusted person.

And if the person you chose to talk to isn't very empathetic, you could suggest they:
  • look at the Help For Hoarders website for information
  • contact the charity HoardingUK for expert guidance
  • arrange to have a chat with me or a Professional Hoarding Practitioner - we'll set them straight!
#hoardinghelp #hoardingawarenessweek #hoarding #FireKills #mentalhealth #chronicdisorganisation #ExecutiveDysfunction #Neurodiversity #clutter #stopthestigma

+ + + + +

Cherry Rudge is a Professional Hoarding Practitionertrainer, mentor, consultant, activist, campaigner and creator of the Hoarding Icebreaker Form.

Her late father had hoarding behaviours, which is why she now specialises in working with people with hoarding behaviours and complex needs.

She has been a:

For further information please contact Cherry Rudge - Phone/Text: 07931 303310 - Email: cherry@rainbowred.co.uk



Wednesday, 19 August 2020

Clutter & disorganisation crisis looming for brain-damaged COVID-19 patients?

There's potentially some good news on its way for experienced Professional Organisers and Professional Hoarding Practitioners who work with people with complex needs - we're likely to be even more in demand as a result of COVID-19.

According to an article in The Guardian on 8th July 2020, UK neurologists have published details of mildly affected or recovering Covid-19 patients having serious or potentially fatal brain conditions.


The cases (published in the journal Brain) support a paper recently published in The Journal of Alzheimer's Disease (by an American team of leading neurological experts), which says that some former COVID-19 patients may go on to develop cognitive decline, attention deficit, brain fog, or Alzheimer's disease.  

And that of course means they may (for example):
  • Be left with degenerative COVID-19 related physical health problems that affect them for the rest of their lives
  • End up with PTSD caused by the trauma of having had COVID-19, as well as having to adjust to having physical anxiety, depression or stress-related illness that they may not have had before
  • Find it difficult to maintain their pre-COVID-19 career/employment status, level of income and lifestyle
  • End up finding themselves reliant on the benefits system to be able to pay their bills - assuming there is an appropriate welfare system in place where they live of course...
  • Need to downsize or request council accommodation if their situation becomes too dire (they may even have to relocate to other areas if there's insufficient suitable accommodation available in their area.
  • Lose some of their Executive Functioning (EF) - the daily skills of life that enable us to carry out what "neurotypicals" take for granted, such as:
    • the ability to remember were they put things; 
    • arrive at appointments on time (assuming they remembered to write the appointment in their diary in the first place - assuming they could even find their diary or remembered to look in their diary); 
    • organise their homes (eg. create and maintain effective filing systems for paperwork, photos, emails, etc; 
    • manage their affairs (eg. pay bills on time, arrange repairs to be carried out to fix broken heating, etc)
    • maintain a clean, safe, hygienic and clutter-free living environment
Not that these are good things of course - absolutely not - far from it!  

Life-changing experiences like these can be frustrating, exhausting, depressing, and time-consuming to address.  Especially for individuals who were previously physically active, focussed on career development and fiercely independent.  

And then there's the friends and families who end up becoming carers to them post-COVID.

Without appropriate and timely support, the health and wellbeing of people affected by these kinds of difficulties can rapidly deteriorate, and the consequences can be disastrous.
It's only in the last few years that some local authorities (especially those that have received specialist training from organisations such as Hoarding Disorders UK CICClouds End CIC and Rainbow Red) have begun to understand that issues related to clutter, disorganisation, self-neglect and hoarding behaviours are:
  • Very rarely lifestyle choices
    • Until COVID-19, the chances are that that individuals experiencing these issues had underlying neurological and/or mental health conditions (often undiagnosed).  Post-COVID-19, the difficulties could be related to that issues caused by the Coronavirus, on top of existing problems.
  • Likely to be physical representations of the chaos and overwhelm in a person's life
  • Often made worse by sending in a clearance/cleaning firm, instead of someone who offers a person-centred service
So, why does this mean there's potentially a clutter and disorganisation crisis looming?
Because the bad news is that:
  1. there may be no money to pay for these essential services
  2. There aren't enough of us with sufficient skills and experience of working with people with complex needs to meet demand.  And those of us who do have been inundated with calls since lockdown started - we simply can't keep up (so apologies to all those who we've not yet had a chance to contact).

Health and social care services are likely to be overwhelmed with requests for support from the likes of professionals such as Occupational Therapists, Physiotherapists, support workers, mental health specialists and neurological specialists - all collaborating with Professional Organisers and Professional Hoarding Practitioners - empowering individuals to remain independent for as long as possible.

We predict there could be (for example):
  • inadequate budgeting and training of NHS and local authority personnel to provide specialist person-centred practical support
  • Many people who lose their job due to the deterioration in their health, and who turn to already over-stretched health and social care and/or benefits systems to pay for support
  • enormous competition for already very limited health and social care budgets 
  • an increase in demand for council accommodation
  • an increase in the number of social workers required to deal with increased case-loads
  • an increase in safety issues in the home due to self-neglect, fires; slips, trips and falls; infestations, etc. 
  • an increase in the number of vulnerable people being targeted by unscrupulous scammers and and becoming victims of of cuckooing (when people are unwell they are less able to maintain their properties in which drug dealers take over the home of a vulnerable person in order to use it as a base for county lines drug trafficking. 

All of which could continue for many years to come.

Still, it's reassuring to know that decluttering and organising specialists are likely to at last become an integral part of multi-agency responses and interventions.  Better late than never.

My hope is that by re-training people who have struggled with organising issues the past - and either attended hoarding or clutter support groups or worked with professional practitioners (or both) to develop sustainable coping strategies that  brings order to their lives - we'll end up with a new generation of practitioners as passionate as we are about giving something back to clients who were once like them.

So, if you'd like to know more about attending training to become a Professional Hoarding Practitioner, please please please get in touch.  

Because without your empathy, patience, and ability to motivate, empower and coach people to believe in their ability to take control of their paperwork and their homes, some people won't be able to sort their way out of their mess - which wasn't their fault in the first place....

+++++

To find a Professional Organiser in the UK, check out The Association of Professional Declutterers & Organisers (APDO) website - www.apdo.co.uk



Tuesday, 28 July 2020

Families need support too

Client testimonials are always very much appreciated, and this one 
- from a lovely lady who contacted me for advice because she was concerned about her mother - absolutely made my day!

"I contacted Cherry during lock down due to my mother being taken extremely unwell. We received a phone call from the paramedic who attended to my mother, who had a very frank conversation as to how bad our mum's home was. He stated that in the future they may not be able to attend to her address due the appalling house condition. Mum's prospects at this time was very uncertain and even if she was to survive, then she couldn't return home due to her health and the home conditions.  

What the paramedic wasn't aware of was the years/ decades of battling we have had to try to get her to resolve the issue. It came to a point where her adult children had to choose not to go to her house because it was so upsetting. It was not through not trying, I have lost count how many times we have been to her house to try help get it into a habitable state or encouraged her to access service to support her in doing so, but due to her such poor self esteem, confidence and not wanting to lose any of her possessions this just wasn't achievable.  This life changing event forced our hand to face up to the situation and get professional help. This is where Cherry came into our lives.....

 

I called Cherry in March, as a stuttering, bumbling mess on the phone. Feeling helpless, bewildered, hopeless and most of all embarrassed. Cherry was absolutely amazing, she reassured, listened, empathised, had a complete understanding and most importantly made me feel supported and there could be a way forward. Cherry wasn't able to take on our mum as a client but she could hear my desperation and  promised she would look into it to see if she could find another professional to support her. Cherry supported myself and my sister via phone calls and emails. My sister suffers anxiety and had baby twins to contend with. I have a young family and working full time in a very stressful and demanding job. Cherry was completely understanding and worked around us. 

 

Cherry was able to connect us to Simon who is also a professional de-clutter and hoarder supporter. We managed to persuade our mum to meet Cherry and Simon via a video link. They offered her understanding, encouragement and strategies to encourage her to start making small steps forward. Sadly our mum didn't agree to work with Simon, we believe this because she has had a difficult life which she had little control and she wants to be in charge of her decisions now. However from their conversation it has spurred our mum on to start making the changes she so desperately needs to make. When she was fitter enough, she returned home and has started to clear the kitchen, bathroom and bedroom, fingers crossed she can continue.

 

 I truly wish she had made the better choice of working with Simon. Myself and my brother and sister believe that this would have changed her life as it's not a straight cut solution of clearing a house, she would absolutely have benefited from the confidence and self esteem that would have come from Simon and Cherry's support. 

 

My family wants to whole heartily thank Cherry and Simon for there support through one of the toughest times". 

 Which just goes to show, it's not about the stuff, 

it's always about the people!

Finally, I must say a big thank you to my APDO colleague Simon Wigzell of 
Let's Get It Sorted for the calm and reassuring way he supported the family 
- and me!